GUESS WHAT!!!

Caelan took a bottle! The nurse tried it out at his 8pm feeding last night and she said he did great! He maintained his oxygen level the whole time- she said she only gave him half an ounce through the bottle before going back to his tube feeding. They don't want to overdo it of course on the first few times, it will be a process. But.... wow! What a step! He has just done really well in general for the past couple of days. Looks better, acts better- respiration rate is down a LOT since the beginning of the week- was over 100, now down to about 50-60 or so. He still has a way to go- this will still take some time- between the energy it takes to eat and slowing down his respirations. But YAY! I will be there in the morning for his 8am feeding- maybe I will get to try the bottle with him!

PS... Happy Birthday Shawon!!

Caelan Update along with some Prayer Requests

Caelan had a really good day today! His IV was out yesterday and he finishes his antibiotics tonight. This morning when I visited he was quite alert with his eyes wide open- we had some good snuggle time while he was fed and for a bit after that. Tonight Matt and I went to visit at 8 and I gave him a bath- that is so awesome! He seems to really enjoy it- he stays so relaxed through the whole thing. Matt dressed him afterwards (yes- he is now wearing clothes). Caelan was wide awake the whole time- looking all around and watching us. Matt held him while he was fed- he is up to 55cc now which is almost 2 ounces! Then I held him for a while, snuggled up against my chest. He is so beautiful and there is something so amazing about a sleeping baby. We love him soooooo much! His breathing was a little slower today but still too high to try bottle feeding for now- hopefully soon. It is really neat though to watch his rate come down, close to normal when we hold him. He just responds really well to it- the nurses really encourage us to do that now. And of course we don't turn down the opportunity!

We got some really good pictures tonight! Unfortunately, there are still computer problems and in order to post the pictures, I have to be on a specific computer. Hopefully I will get to them tomorrow- I really like a couple of them. But Here's a video instead - see below.

On to a few prayer requests- these are all specific to co-workers:
1. All of my co-workers who will be starting 12 hour shifts on Saturday for the next couple of months while I am out; the long shift can be quite challenging for many of them, especially during this time of year.

2. Sharon's friend Linda- still fighting the cancer; just finished chemo and is following up with her doctor about where things stand. She has made a lot of progress through all of this but was feeling bad for the past couple of weeks. Pray for Sharon as well!

3. Ronda's mom- in the hospital for what they initially thought was a heart attack; they have ruled that out and are checking out her lungs tomorrow.

4. Christine- fought cervical cancer a few years ago; a mass was found in her abdominal area a few days ago; still testing and going to doctors.

5. Matt (Ansorge)- his long time and closest friend David was injured in the recent attack/bombing in Afghanistan.

Caelan's Angels

The Moments of Life

Caelan James

(pictures are from July 12-14)

There have definitely been quite a few moments over the past few days. Sunday was an up and down day. The upside was great- Caelan had visitors! Uncle Pat and Miss Lee came up to visit for a few minutes to see Caelan. Also, Jack Catton (very special friend, previous co-worker) and his wife Louise (or as I always call her- "The Lovely Ms. Louise") were in town for the weekend and came to visit on their way back downstate. It was so great seeing them and we were happy they were able to see Caelan while they were here; they prayed with us before they left.

And then there came the downside..... Matt and I went over to the cafeteria to eat dinner and I went back to hold Caelan for his 5pm feeding. His nurse had told us earlier that Caelan had a rough morning- a bit fussy, not feeling well. While I was holding him, singing to him- he was doing really well.... he was looking up at me and smiling (and of course melting my heart in the process). His alarms went off a couple of times but that is not unusual because his little wires get jiggled around while being held. But then his oxygen level dropped. And dropped a bit more. And... kept going. This wasn't loose wires either.
Now.... I will sidetrack a bit here to explain a couple of things about NICU. I love watching these people work. Situations are very in control- in fact, so much so that their movements seem 'deliberately slow' and their voices remain at a normal volume and once again, slow and controlled. When someones monitor alarms go off for a few seconds, the nurse will simply say aloud "We're ok" in a easy, relaxed tones. If they are not ok, they don't holler for help- but they don't give that one simple statement.... and other nurses start walking over to help. No one goes running all over and no one jumps in all gung-ho. The other nurses watch for cues as to what needs to be done and what their role is in assisting..... it is all so smooth and flawless. Graceful even.
So.... Sunday when Caelan's oxygen level started going down... there were suddenly 3 nurses standing there. Oh crap. One nurse adjusted the lighting for Caelan's nurse and the other turned his oxygen all the way up- she watched the monitor and calmly called out the numbers on the monitor, "85, 84, 82, 80, back up to 85, 87, 90." He came back up to normal and was a bit worked up (which is a good thing- I will take grumpy and breathing over lethargic and quiet any day) Caelan has been ok since that moment- but oh, that moment. Watching my son take that little dip.... and then come back up. The afterwards of it all as well. I was acutely aware of so many little things right then and yet so unaware. All through that evening, so many images and thoughts were in my head. Details. I remember standing there thinking to myself, "Be strong. You can do this. You must stay strong. No matter what is about to happen..." As Caelan was stabilized, the nurse asked me if I wanted to comfort him. So I sat next to his incubator with my hands tightly bundling him- against his feet and bottom and against his head- almost in a confining manner; and I talked to him. He was not crying, just stirring around too much. His eyes were open, quite alert; I sang to him and sshhed, and cradled. And I bit my lip to help hold back tears. Those precious eyes stared into mine. It is almost odd how keenly aware of that I was; those eyes looking into mine is still such a clear image of that moment. And again, I told myself to be strong, and that I had to be for him. But for a moment I thought, "Why? Why do I have to stay strong as steel? Is it ok to not be from time to time?" And yet, those eyes. I stayed there beside my precious son- I made sure he was completely settled and asleep and I tucked the blankets around him. The nurses came back over to start an IV (they have to change the IV location every couple of days). I stayed while they did it- just to the side watching. It is actually good for me to see the 'technical' side of things- it helps me stay focused on the reality without my emotions getting in the way. So I stood there very calmly. Still thinking through the events of earlier. And I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, the familiar voice of God. "Be still and listen" They often have soft music playing in NICU.... the song at that moment? "Someone to watch over me..." I smiled. I relaxed. I knew. There is someone to watch over me.... and Caelan. And He was watching over us the entire time. I don't have to be strong as steel. He is for me.

"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My right hand. For I, the Lord you God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you'"

Isaiah 41:10,13

(one of my favorites- and is actually in our portfolio)

Caelan has been fine since then- I am not sure what exactly happened. He didn't flinch through the IV, he did well for Matt holding him that night, and he has done fine since.

Uncle Pat and Ms. Lee

Jack and Louise

Other Moments from the past couple of days.....

Daddy gave Caelan his first bath (out of the incubator)

Bright open eyes

Smiling in his sleep

Zonked out in Daddy's arms

Mommy saying goodnight before going to work

Our sweet precious son- our gift from God

Little Update

Sorry we are unable to post any pictures right now- something to do with a computer server... Matt of course explains these things and I just nod my head and smile- I don't really understand the jist of it all.

Caelan continues to do well. We are able to hold him when we visit- particularly when he is being fed (still through the nasal tube). We try to be there in the morning and late evening at a minimum. He is up to over an ounce and a half of formula every three hours and is gaining weight! Yay! He looks sooooo much better. It is so nice to see him without all the tubes and stuff.

Caelan still has to work to breathe- his lungs are still 'sick' and he is on a heavy dose of erythromycin. His respiration rate remains high but it is getting better- it used to stay in the 100 range. His oxygen level is great though! Even though we are able to hold him now- he still has to remain low key to let his lungs get better- so if he is settled in or resting, we just let him continue to do so. It's really neat though- Caelan's respiration rate decreases when Matt holds him.

I was able to give him a bath yesterday morning- loved it! (me- he did well too) He is such a sweet and beautiful boy- we love him!

Hold Time

As seen in the previous post, Matt and I finally got to hold Caelan! This is something we have been really longing for and didn't think was going to happen for at least a few more days. Matt stops by the hospital on his way to work and the goal is for me to meet him there on my way home. I had a meeting this morning at work and knew that Matt and I would not see each other. After the meeting, I had tried to call Matt's cell phone a couple of times and he never answered. I finally called the hospital to see if he was still there- we tend to get wrapped up in our visits- it is difficult to leave! Sure enough he was still there. But the nurse said Matt couldn't come to the phone because he was "holding the baby."
"Holding the baby? What do you mean holding the baby? Like putting his hands on his head?"
"No, he's actually holding the baby."
"WHAT? OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! I'M ON MY WAY!"
I jumped around the room, ran to my car and drove quickly (in case any of our deputies are reading- I kept a reasonable speed..... hmmm) to the hospital. I walked in and there was my precious and amazing husband, holding our son. I did more jumping around at that point. Matt had been holding him for about an hour or so; I took a few pictures and then it was my turn. Wow. That moment we have been waiting for... to feel him in my arms, to hold him close to my heart. And I stayed right there in that spot for an hour and a half. Soaking in his every expression, his every breath, each little squirm. Kissing his forehead- for the first time.

He is still 'working' to breathe. His respiration rate still remains a bit high. But his oxygen level is higher than it ever has been and they decreased his oxygen flow. He still has a bit to go- that struggle to breathe isn't going away for several more days at least. But that is ok- he has made such leaps and bounds over the past few days; he has truly been under God's right hand!

The other good thing is his feeding- still through the nasal tube and again, this will take a while to change. But he had reached his 36cc mark which is just over an ounce; they had figured he would stay at that amount for now... but no... Caelan is hungry between feedings! They have increased him to 44cc! This is great! He is also maintaing his weight really well. And as Matt had the joy of experiencing- Caelan is also filling his diapers quite well! That was a funny moment! Mostly because Caelan just kept going- Matt went through two diapers just during the change. We both laughed so hard!

AND.... Caelan has graduated to the other side of the NICU room! Good job buddy! He has moved to the area that is still for sick babies but out of that extremely critical section. Cool. "To God be the glory, for the things He has done!" Caelan is definatly a testimony of the power of prayer.....

Did I mention that we held our son? WE HELD OUR SON!!!!

What is a Picture Worth?

Caelan James

July 9, 2008

These pictures are worth

MORE than a thousand words....

HOLD TIME!!!

These three are just cute- butt in the air and mouth wide open!

I will post more picutres tonight... just a few snapshots of the past few days....

Progress

Today was a great day. Matt and I met up at the hospital around 1030am to spend time with Caelan and get reports from the doctor- Dr. Sciamano is on right now for a couple of days. The biliruben light for his jaundice is GONE- all done with that; IV nutrition (TPN/Fat)-DONE; central lines in his belly button- GONE; two of the four antibiotics- GONE! They have started increasing his feeding by 3cc each time instead of just 1... and he is hungry and ready to 'eat' between feedings. These are great things... progress. And praise be to GOD for these things!

Caelan is still quite sick- it is so deceiving because he doesn't look like it. He is still working to breathe and his respiratory rate is still high and inconsistent- but he is maintaining his oxygen levels which is the important thing. Because of this, he is still not able to be held or attempt a bottle- it requires too much energy; in time though.

The one thing they have figured out is the reason for all of his complications. Although premature babies often have respiratory problems, it is not as common in 'big' premies or in those that are as far along as Caelan was. There are two different infections that are the culprit.... candida and euro-something or other, which affects the lungs. The remaining antibiotics are for these two things and one of those will continue for 10 days or so.... this alone is a reason to keep him for that long.

Mary is so awesome in encouraging us to help out with Caelan and his care. Today I got to help rotate him onto his stomach and I changed a wet diaper.... but the greatest moment was that I got to bathe him. Sorta... they are just doing parts at a time so I washed his face and head. He did so well.... it was his first one. I just used a soft gauze in some warm water and wiped his face and then wet his head with it. Then put a little shampoo on my fingers and stroked his beautiful head with my fingertips... in downward massaging motions. I used a comb to clean out some of the dried blood on his crown and then rinsed him all off with warm water. This is all done in the incubator- after he was on his stomach, Mary had put some cloths under his head to catch the water. After I finished rinsing, I used a soft cloth to dry him off... just rubbing with gentle downward strokes again. He looks so pretty with his hair all clean! Mary let me do everything myself- she gave some encouragement and sweet guidance. I must say though... this had to be one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. Being a part of his birth was amazing and a blessing. But there was something about our little moment today that I am unable to express in words. It was peaceful and intimate. Just... beautiful. I thanked Mary with tears in my eyes before I left. That moment meant so much to me.

Caelan is one strong little guy. Thanks to everyone for the prayers that have given all three of us strength.

(sorry no pictures right now.... Matt is taking a nap and I don't know how to download them off the camera yet; he looks great though!)

Our Journey to Caelan

Matt and I have always wanted to adopt a child- even before we were married, we knew this. For some reason we always thought we would wait until after we had had a couple of children. The first Saturday in November, a little after 6 am as I was driving to work, I was listening to a Christian radio station and the topic was about adoption. At that moment, I felt God's tap on my shoulder. Why are we waiting? There was almost an urgency in His voice- "Do this now." I expressed this to Matt and he agreed. God laid out the path for us to start our journey toward Caelan. In less than 2 weeks we were sitting in an office at Catholic Human Services planning meetings and classes.

Barbara found out she was pregnant- in November. She even went to an abortion clinic and knew that that was not the right decision. She began her journey to us. Barbara ended up in the same office at Catholic Human Services planning the adoption process for this child.

In May, we met each other. There is absolutely no doubt that God's hand was in this.

God has brought this precious child in our life; as Caelan's mother I have spiritual authority over him. The blood of Christ is in me and flows through me to my son. When I place my hands on him, Christ embraces Caelan in His healing power. There is a reason for Caelan being in our life- there is a reason for his life. Christ will continue to heal and strengthen all of us- and we will continue this journey!
(Thank you Billy for this beautiful perspective and for praying with me tonight)

Hands on Prayer

Caelan James

Monday, July 7

Pastor Brand came to visit Matt, Caelan and me tonight; this picture is of all of us laying our hands on Caelan as Pastor Brand prayed.

Caelan James

Sunday, July 6

Sunday was an ok day... not too bad but still didn't quite start to move forward. He is under a biliruben light (I have no idea how to spell that) but that is not uncommon for babies. That is why he has those little goggle things on- to block the light from his eyes. He tried to take it off while on his belly- Karen said she had to chase him all over his bed yesterday cause he was a squirmy boy. He pulled out his feeding tube, so that had to be reinserted; he also expressed his opinion on the chest tube yesterday- he pulled out the one on the right. It wasn't a horrible thing, it just wasn't exactly on the day's agenda. He was obviously working a bit more to breathe when we got there but they didn't put the t ube back in- the right side is doing better than the left. So the little guy has earned himself more tape-extra on all those tubes to secure them even more. Actually, I love his fiestyness- Even though it somewhat plays against him right now. It is best for him to remain low key to allow his body to heal- and being wound up doesn't work for that. I just love his strength though.

Matt went up to the hospital this morning on his way to work- his quick 30 minute visit turned into almost 2 hours! He called me after he left to give me the update. Matt got to check Caelan's diaper, take his temp and various things like that. Caelan is still under the light and will be for the rest of the day. Dr. St Charles and the other neonatologist were both there- Caelan's chest x-rays look good and they decided to go ahead and remove the left chest tube today- his lung sounds a little 'squeaky' on that side but they feel that it is likely because of the tube and that it will get better once the tube is out. They are doing nebulizer treatments a few times a day to assist in the progress of his lung improvement. Provided the lungs remain stable, the chest tubes coming out is a huge step forward- I feel relieved right now. His feeding is still through the tube- he is up to about 20cc of formula at this point; they increase it by 1cc each feeding- 30 cc will be one ounce. Matt said that even though Caelan has good sucking on the pacifier Dr. St Charles doesn't feel Caelan is ready for a nipple/bottle feeding yet. They are giving him another day of TPN (total protein- this is IV nutrition and is what goes into the little line going into his belly button). I will be going up there in about an hour- Pastor Brand will be meeting us there tonight around 5:30. We also go up every night around 10 to say good night to him.

Now for the horrible mommy news- I am going back to work tonight. I know it is the best thing and makes sense... but I feel terrible. We had talked a bit about it off and on- Caelan will need me more once he comes home than he does right now. I don't sit at the hospital 24 hours right now- we can't hold him or feed him. We are looking at another 8-10 days of him being in NICU. I was actually off anyway for these past several days and it worked out really well. Caelan is stable so I will go ahead and work the next 7 day stretch which is what my original schedule is and then I am off Monday and Tuesday next week.... hopefully he will be coming home by then. Matt and I plan to meet at the hospital in the mornings as I am coming home and he is going to work, and of course we will have our evenings with Caelan and our regular goodnight visit which will be as I leave for work. So... I feel guilty, but again... it is what is best for us and for Caelan. My coworkers have all been so supportive and are prepared to cover shifts if needed. I cannot say enough about how awesome all of them have been through this!

So.... I am off to see that beautiful and most precious boy- I plan to encourage him to keep giving the nurses heck! Our prayers are that he stays strong without the chest tubes and that he is able to bottle feed really soon.... and... that we can HOLD him really, really soon!

Barbara and Eric came in yesterday to visit- it was great to see them both and Barbara is doing really well since the delivery.

Peacefully dozing- they have little beanbag things around him- it cradles him and does the same thing as bundling or swaddling which he loves.

Breathing Better (all of us)

Caelan James Perry

Saturday, July 5

How awesome! Caelan was taken off the vent yesterday morning and is a much happier little guy. This is one of my favorite pictures from yesterday- he was just laying there with his eyes wide open, looking all around. I had just whispered his name to him and he looked up at me- WOW! Made my day for sure!

So many accomplishments yesterday- in addition to being off the vent, his weight is good at 6 pounds 2 ounces, he is alert, he is hungry for feedings, he is sucking extremely well (really works that pacifier)!

Today... I just hung up with Karen his nurse and she said he is a little 'crabby' today- some of that comes from still getting certain meds out of his system- but she also said he seemed to have a tummy ache. He is on his stomache right now- he seems to prefer laying that way; he breathes easier in that position too. And although his chest x-rays look better, the chest tubes do still have some drainage so they are not going to be coming out today. They are going to take the central lines out of his umbilical today, so that is progress. And we LOVE progress! I can't wait to see him today!

Karen

This was when we first got there yesterday- off that vent! Yay! It was so cute because his diaper is on backwards- just easier.

Feeding time- it goes through that tiny tube in his nose and straight into his stomach. You can see the nurse with the syringe full of formula- he was getting about 8cc at this point and they increase it by 1cc each feeding. He is on the 8,11,2,5 time schedule.

We got to help weigh him yesterday- this is Matt holding him (yes holding!) lifting him up to set the weigher thingie and then they lay him back on it to read his weight. It has been awesome watching Matt with Caelan- so sweet and tender. I love hearing him talk to him and telling him how much he loves him. Matt also changed his diaper yesterday.

I LOVED this moment! Had my hand on his head in that bundling manner and was holding the pacifier- he was squeezing my thumb really tight! Oh how my heart melts!

All tucked in for the night

Quick update

For some reason I am ssoooo tired tonight so I am going to keep this really short- Caelan is doing WONDERFULLY today! (Saturday) We visited three times today- we always go at night to tell him good night and that we love him. They took him off the vent this morning and he is so much better! His breathing is good and if he continues like this, they will take out the chest tubes tomorrow. I will write details tomorrow with pictures from today with the vent out and eyes open. Right now I am actually falling asleep while typing. Sorry so vague tonight- he is beautiful, strong, and made leaps and bounds today! Love and blessings to all-

Better....

Aaaah. Today was a better day- definitely still a ways to go- but better. We called the hospital first thing in the morning and Julie told us that they had given him more medications and that he was doing well- he had an 'uneventful' night. We went up there around 5pm- he looked pretty good- he was quite red when we first got there but it was because he was really irritated- its kinda cute actually! They had turned him over onto his stomach (they occasionally change their positions to prevent problems from being in one spot)... anyway.. he was angry about being disturbed and moved, and then he got angry again when they did an ultrasound of his head- they do that to check for bleeds (don't panic- it's routine). The neat thing though is how he calmed down when Matt had his hands on him. NICU babies can't be stroked but they do something called 'bundling' or 'nesting' which is putting a hand on his head and a hand on his feet or bottom and just stay there- the nurses do it from time to time and Matt and I did it this afternoon. Julie said that Dr. St Charles is going to extubate him and take him off the vent in the morning- hopefully he will do well on his own... if he does, then they will remove the chest tubes the next day. They had significantly reduced his sedation medicine too. This played into his being easily agitated because he is a little more sensitive to stimulus than he was when he was sedated.
Well, we just got back from visiting him again and he looks even better than he did during our first visit! They had flipped him back over onto his back and he was just sleeping. Annie (the night nurse) said he didn't get upset at all during the position change and that he had no sedation since before she came on at 7pm- YAY CAELAN! His blood work looks really good. They also started feeding him again- through the tube still, but that is fine- it is still a step forward. The other thing he did today was suck on a pacifier.... now this may not seem like a big deal, but it is. They can forget how to suck and have problems taking a bottle when the time comes- he did beautifully with it- in fact, he was sucking on the pacifier while he has the tube in his mouth!
So it was a really good day for him (and us) and hopefully tomorrow will go well when they take him off the vent.

Notice how red his skin is! This is when he got mad about them doing the ultrasound.

Bundling/ nesting- hands on his head and bottom- very calming for him at times. Notice his skin is going back to normal.

Daddy is doing a great job!

Grandma and Grandpa came to see (literally to see- no touching yet)

My precious friend Sharon came up yesterday (the afternoon of the not so good day!)

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful........
Beautiful Caelan....

His balloons on the mailbox- waiting to welcome him home!

His name

Caelan is Irish- it means 'strong fighter'
More appropriate than we had anticipated! Love it!

The NICU Dance

One step forward.. two steps back. This is the dance of NICU. We knew this of course- we witnessed it with Pat's kids. And today we danced the dance. Caelan is still doing really well- just a change in things. When I got there today, I walked in to find the respiratory therapist there and Caelan was intubated again and back on the ventilator. This was a bit of shock to my system and I didn't handle it well- I wanted to know what had happened to my son! The respiratory therapist said that Caelan's right lung had collapsed (originally it had been only the left one) and they have put in a chest tube on that side. I felt that moment of panic- I just knew that I was going to hold him today- that he would be one step closer to home. And here he was- back on the vent with chest tubes in both sides. The nurse came over to talk to me and they had paged Dr. St. Charles as well. Now, to back up a bit and be fair- the respiratory therapist is not the most comforting person- he is quite technical, does his thing and leaves- he is not the one for the gentle and compassionate interaction with the parents... that is more for the nurses and doctor who provide the constant care for the babies and parents. What happened was that Dr. St Charles and Julie (today's nurse) were watching for me to come in so they could explain Caelan's events of the morning... they both happened to walk out of the room for a second right at that moment that I walked in... so instead of being appropriately prepared, I walked in to something that was actually not as bad as it looked. AND... Caelan is ONLY 48 hours old- barely that... and the reality is that premies are NOT just all of a sudden ok and healthy enough to go home. We are still very early in the process... I should have known that- Reality check! I am ok now... I had a rough moment.... Matt was in Ludington of all times. But this is where our awesome and amazing God does what He does best- he takes care of us in our time of need.

I went out to 'take a breath' and call Matt. I used the courtesy phone in the waiting room- there was only one other person in there. I was a little upset and crying, trying to be strong- I told him about Caelan's changes and that he was going to be ok. I told Matt I didn't want to call family or anyone yet. He asked if I wanted him to call Pastor Brand to come visit me; I told him no. I was surprised by the fact but I actually wanted to just be alone. Matt understands me beyond belief! Anyway- as I hung up, the lady in the waiting room just smiled. She asked me how old he was- I told her a little bit about him. She said that she would pray for him. I asked her a little about herself- sitting in the waiting room of the maternity ward is an obvious sign that there is a baby involved! Then.... well, lets just say that God brought the two of us to each other... she is the adoptive grandmother of a baby in NICU- she had been there all night long... the baby was 5 weeks early, and the adoptive parents (her daughter and son in law) were on their way here from New Hampshire. They had lived in Burke for a while- around the same time we lived in Northern VA area as well. As we talked, there were so many similarities and connections in our lives. We hugged and we cried, we hugged some more. We talked about how much we each needed each other at that moment. God gave me the strength that I needed- He gave me that strength through this woman. One more 'coincidence'- her name is Barbara. I couldnt believe it. I told her I would pray for the baby in NICU and for the family; she will be praying for Caelan and for us.
So I went back in to NICU... and I was strong and focused. I felt God. And I put my hands on Caelan and prayed for him. And I prayed for him to feel God's hands around him. And for God to give both of us strenth. And I was fine for the rest of the day. Our God is truly amazing. And I love Him for it.
So.... Caelan is going to be fine. Dr. St Charles said that he is actually BETTER today. In spite of how it looks; the vent is a good thing- it allows his lungs to grow and heal. He is sedated in fact to keep him as low stressed as possible and to prevent him from working against the vent. Plain and simple, his lungs are premature.... this is so common in premies- boys especially. Once again- I KNOW that.... I just didn't want to. This will take him a few days to get over.... then we move forward. Right now is just the standstill. The pause in the process. Matt and I went back up there tonight to sit with him for a bit and tell him good night; God will take care of him.
So please continue to pray for our son- and for us.
Thank you to everyone for the support- the hugs were needed and the food was fantastic! We will post pictures tomorrow (sorry... none today... I need to go to bed!)

Caelan James Perry pictures

Caelan James Perry; July 1, 2008 at 1053 pm;

5 pounds 9 ounces; 19"

Minutes after he was born





A couple of hours later in NICU. He had a collapsed left lung- pretty pink though! The thing on his face is a CPAP- just like what adults with sleep apnea wear- so that is no big deal... everything else looks bad but isn't- mostly monitoring stuff.

Barbara (birth mother) and her mom

This is Tom Bonhoerst- he is the social worker with Catholic Human Services that we have been working with for 9 months- awesome guy! We're in NICU just watching Caelan.

Hey Little Guy! I love this cause his eyes are open! This was around 3pm on Wednesday July 2nd. We had gotten a call around 3am (right after we went to bed the night he was born)- they had put in a chest tube for the collapsed lung and intubated and put him on a vent to put medicine straight into his lungs- they told us he would be on that for 24-48 hours. NOPE! Not our little guy- he was off that in less than 10 hours- that's my boy! So these are from a couple hours after that- you can see his face now! He is only on a nasal canula for oxygen now- the chest tube is still in though.

This one was taken in night mode- we can't use a flash in NICU. The color ones simply have the flash turned off... but it still shines light in his eyes as it focuses... too much stimulus is not good for preemies so we do some of them in night mode. It is easier to get him with eyes open too.

These were also after his diaper change- I got to do it! It was that gooey, tarry, sticky stuff- meconium. It was cool though to be able to take care of him.... the nurse will let us do whatever we are comfortable with... I told her I will do WHATEVER she will let me do! I just don't want to cross any boundaries. So I took his temp, relocated his pulse monitor, changed him a couple of times. The challenging part is doing those things through the little holes on the sides of the incubator... and then around all the wires. Awesome though! He did NOT like having a dirty diaper! Once that was taken care of- he settled down and then just laid there looking around. I could sit and just watch him forever- and I love seeing his eyes open!

Because of the things he has been dealing with... he hasn't eaten by bottle. Once all of this thing with his lung settles down, they will work on his feeding. Right now it is just through a little tube in his nose. So... he has to graduate out of the chest tube and into feeding class! Once he can eat, I am sure we can go home. Hopefully no more than a week.

So that is the latest in our little world... our son is only 28 hours old right now. Wow. Can't wait to see him tomorrow.. cant wait to HOLD him!

Thank you all for the continuous prayers and support! We love you all and blessings to you!

****** REMEMBER**** Clicking on the picture should open it to a full size on your screen!**