Caelan James

Sunday, July 6

Sunday was an ok day... not too bad but still didn't quite start to move forward. He is under a biliruben light (I have no idea how to spell that) but that is not uncommon for babies. That is why he has those little goggle things on- to block the light from his eyes. He tried to take it off while on his belly- Karen said she had to chase him all over his bed yesterday cause he was a squirmy boy. He pulled out his feeding tube, so that had to be reinserted; he also expressed his opinion on the chest tube yesterday- he pulled out the one on the right. It wasn't a horrible thing, it just wasn't exactly on the day's agenda. He was obviously working a bit more to breathe when we got there but they didn't put the t ube back in- the right side is doing better than the left. So the little guy has earned himself more tape-extra on all those tubes to secure them even more. Actually, I love his fiestyness- Even though it somewhat plays against him right now. It is best for him to remain low key to allow his body to heal- and being wound up doesn't work for that. I just love his strength though.

Matt went up to the hospital this morning on his way to work- his quick 30 minute visit turned into almost 2 hours! He called me after he left to give me the update. Matt got to check Caelan's diaper, take his temp and various things like that. Caelan is still under the light and will be for the rest of the day. Dr. St Charles and the other neonatologist were both there- Caelan's chest x-rays look good and they decided to go ahead and remove the left chest tube today- his lung sounds a little 'squeaky' on that side but they feel that it is likely because of the tube and that it will get better once the tube is out. They are doing nebulizer treatments a few times a day to assist in the progress of his lung improvement. Provided the lungs remain stable, the chest tubes coming out is a huge step forward- I feel relieved right now. His feeding is still through the tube- he is up to about 20cc of formula at this point; they increase it by 1cc each feeding- 30 cc will be one ounce. Matt said that even though Caelan has good sucking on the pacifier Dr. St Charles doesn't feel Caelan is ready for a nipple/bottle feeding yet. They are giving him another day of TPN (total protein- this is IV nutrition and is what goes into the little line going into his belly button). I will be going up there in about an hour- Pastor Brand will be meeting us there tonight around 5:30. We also go up every night around 10 to say good night to him.

Now for the horrible mommy news- I am going back to work tonight. I know it is the best thing and makes sense... but I feel terrible. We had talked a bit about it off and on- Caelan will need me more once he comes home than he does right now. I don't sit at the hospital 24 hours right now- we can't hold him or feed him. We are looking at another 8-10 days of him being in NICU. I was actually off anyway for these past several days and it worked out really well. Caelan is stable so I will go ahead and work the next 7 day stretch which is what my original schedule is and then I am off Monday and Tuesday next week.... hopefully he will be coming home by then. Matt and I plan to meet at the hospital in the mornings as I am coming home and he is going to work, and of course we will have our evenings with Caelan and our regular goodnight visit which will be as I leave for work. So... I feel guilty, but again... it is what is best for us and for Caelan. My coworkers have all been so supportive and are prepared to cover shifts if needed. I cannot say enough about how awesome all of them have been through this!

So.... I am off to see that beautiful and most precious boy- I plan to encourage him to keep giving the nurses heck! Our prayers are that he stays strong without the chest tubes and that he is able to bottle feed really soon.... and... that we can HOLD him really, really soon!

Barbara and Eric came in yesterday to visit- it was great to see them both and Barbara is doing really well since the delivery.

Peacefully dozing- they have little beanbag things around him- it cradles him and does the same thing as bundling or swaddling which he loves.