Family Picture Time

So about this time every year we all get together for family pictures. This can turn into quite an ordeal with 6 kids- trying to get ALL of them to sit still and look at the camera and smile ALL at the same time takes a lot of effort. This year turned out pretty good! I think Bailey has been coaching the girls, and Caelan was shockingly very cooperative... I think he learned something from the school photographer? Anyway- it is also a rare occasion to have Kathy here for the pictures as well.... so this year's pics turned out good!

Of course, as I am posting this I suddenly realized that there are several that are not on our camera- they are all on Grandpa's. I have a disc, I will just have to upload them differently and therefore... not right this minute. I am missing the ones of the grandparents with the kiddos .... and then most importantly.... the ones of EVERYBODY together. I do like the ones of our family- me, Matt and Caelan. even if there is a little blur in some.

So here is Lee and Pat and their kids-

Keaton, Samuel, Bailey

Erin and Grace

ALL the grandkids together-
Keaton, Samuel, Bailey
Erin, Caelan, Grace

and US!
I like this one of Matt and me- I think we were just "testing" the position of the camera or something but it turned out cute- I want to zoom in and crop it and frame it!


Then we added Caelan!

The first one is good.... but I like all three because it is sooo us. Being silly with the boy and trying to get him to look up. Fun stuff!

And then.....

Matt, Kathy and Pat!

Cute picture... and Matt isn't goofing off! (Mark that on the calendar!)

I will try to get the other ones of the whole family posted too....

KMP

It's Aunt Kathy!!

Kathy (aka KMP) came to town over Thanksgiving weekend for about 10 days. She hasn't been here for two years and it was nice to spend so much time with her. We celebrated her birthday, went to see Twilight at the theater, did a little shopping, watched movies and just hung out. We really enjoyed it. She is leaving Hawaii to go live in Germany for a couple of years.... so we likely won't see her again for another two years.

Matt and Kathy.... in true Matt form





Caelan giving his "Aunt Kaffy" a big dose of 3 year old energy- sitting and bouncing on her!

she seems to be able to hold her own though....

CRASH!! Got him!

Samuel and Caelan

Samuel and Caelan watching the movie "Cars"- a favorite for both of them. They were so cute sitting together, totally wrapped up in the movie.

and then with Uncle Matt / Daddy joining them.

Buddies

Caelan and Bruce- almost always together!

So Happy Together...

Caelan LOVES his Grandma and Grandpa!! And they love him lots too. Bear is also there on the couch.... so he has the people who make him happy!

Grandpa frequently has on a hat- Caelan put it on his head and was running all around the living room. So cute!

** The living room was empty because I was shampooing the carpet.

Plumber's Butt

His britches were riding down.... if it wasn't so cute, it would be mean of me to post it!! Couldn't resist it!

Most Handsome Boy in the World!

Thanksgiving Day over at Grandma and Grandpa's House

At The Mall

There is a small play area at the mall... it is a tree that kids can climb in and through and slide down and other things to climb on.... a bit of room to run around. Caelan really likes to go up there and when I mention the mall he starts saying "The Tree!! The Tree! Play on the tree!" So we went up the other night to let him run off some energy. And here he is climbing up with NO hands!

We also go down to the food court area and let him ride the cars and stuff. So here he is riding in the red car...

and then.....

we ran into.....

a lady wearing cool green shoes!! Who could be so cool to wear these awesome shoes??

Mommy Barbara and Eric!!

We ran into them in the Food Court and talked for a while with them. It was great that we actually had the camera with us and were able to take pictures..

No one was paying attention to the camera at the same time in this one but it still cute!

Rainy Day

We have had several rainy days over the past month- which is fine with me, I LOVE rain! The problem is, Caelan is not real keen on using an umbrella. I thought he would really like it and think it was fun, especially the great BIG ones!! But.... no. He will not let me hold it over us at all; he will pick it up off the garage floor if I leave him alone but he won't actually use it in the rain. So on days that it is raining, we walk out to the bus IN the rain or I run carrying him... IN the rain. It's all fun though... and he is so stinking cute in his little rain coat!

Some Dogs and A Cat... but No Cows

I LOVE this one!!

Today

My dad died two years ago today.



A couple of years ago I bought a hand held tape recorder to carry with me. There are so many times when my mind is wandering or I get ideas about things and am not able to write them down. Especially when I am driving. I haven't used the recorder in quite some time because I had filled the tape and kept forgetting to grab a new one. I pulled it out a few weeks ago to listen to what was on it.... the very first recording is on April 16th, 2010. Six months after my dad died. The recording was about my dad, his death. The fact that it was six months... it was a Friday. It was the 16th of the month. A "double whammy" as I called it in my recorded journal. The really ironic thing was.... the day I listened to that, a few weeks ago, was on my dad's birthday. I had no idea when I pressed the play button that that was what I was about to hear... Odd huh?


I had contemplated transcribing the recording here. My mind tends to zone in on certain parts of that recording more than other areas. I thought about it a lot. And decided against it as I really listened to it. Parts of it are too graphic. Other portions are just too personal. Screaming vulnerability. No thanks.


I wondered what I would write about today. What do I want to say? I never really said anything on this blog about my dad. Lots of reasons. My mind has been all over the board today. I finally decided I would just sit down and start typing.... see where my mind, my heart, takes us. Ha... talk about vulnerability.

My dad died 5 months after Rip died. I did blog about Rip's death. ( http://matt-amandaperry.blogspot.com/2009/05/rip-dennis.html ) I loved him so much and felt like I had been kicked in the chest when he died. Rip and I had a special relationship. I still miss him, ache for him. A lot.


When my dad died, Matt was at a client's in Ludington or Manistee. About an hour away. I knew when Matt called me.... one, from a land line... and two, at 930 in the morning.... that something was wrong. Matt's voice was shaking. This man, my husband, loves me more than life itself. Beyond words. Beyond what I ever knew was possible in life. And he is fiercely protective of me. And he had to tell me what had happened. There are a lot of things I don't remember about that conversation, about that day.... or some of the days that followed. But those words.... in my husband's shaken voice.... still ring clearly in my head. They always will.

One thing I realized during all of that is that Mary Margaret, Sally and I are married to three of the finest men in the world. They truly are amazing.

It seemed almost cruel that my dad died so soon after I lost Rip. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me. There are few things in life that one cannot truly comprehend unless they have experienced it first hand. Divorce is one of them. Losing a parent is another. There are no words to describe it. The anguish is literally physical. I felt sick. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak in a functional manner.

Our relationship was.... hmmm. Complicated. We weren't close. We would go years at a time with no contact. I often say..... sometimes God picks us up and plops us right where we don't want to be... for the sole purpose of forcing us to see that it is exactly where we need to be. April 2005 was one of those plopping moments. It was inevitable for us to see each other. I didn't want to be around him. There was no time for deep discussions and hashing out of old problems. But it was the moment for a door to open.

It was slow going. Physical distance didn't help that. There was some turning point along the way... maybe just for me... of unspoken understandings. Old problems didn't need to be discussed. I am fairly certain that he knew I forgave him for things. I am confident that he knew I loved him. I thank Jay for that reassurance.

At the risk of sounding cold hearted.... I don't miss him in the same ways that my sisters do. For me, there isn't the void that they feel on a daily basis. He and I didn't talk that often; it's hard to miss what wasn't there. They had such a different relationship with him... very different memories. That's only natural. They were with him every day of their lives. I do think about him a lot. And I am sad when I think about him not being here; thinking about what should have been. I smile at memories and I tear up at pictures. It's just different for me. I hope they understand what I mean by that.

So what do I think about when I think about him? Especially today? I think about....

He was happy in life. Finally. And deservedly so.

He was thrilled to have THREE grandsons... BOYS!

I know he loved me.

I loved his hair.

My sisters' hearts are breaking. They are strong girls though.

He never met Caelan. That breaks my heart.

I think about the last time I had talked to him. It was one of the most spontaneous phone calls in our relationship.

His laugh and how he sorta snorted when he did.

He always said "How 'bout that?" I have found that I say that a lot as well.

How he would sit at the kitchen table all by himself... for long periods of time. In his own little world. I always wondered what what in the world went through that man's head.

I remember certain conversations we had. Just the two of us.

He thought ironing was soothing.

I'm like him in more ways than I realized.



I don't have access to the few pictures (and they are few) that I have of him... especially of he and I together. So here are some links to check out.... Mary Margaret made slide show videos last year and this year. I couldn't find the link from the funeral.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkCEtoaYSE8&feature=BFa&list=UL0SNZOCdwmYc&lf=mfu_in_order

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SNZOCdwmYc&feature=autoplay&list=ULgkCEtoaYSE8&lf=mfu_in_order&playnext=1

One More Thing....

I have to explain about Caelan chewing on the comb in the video where he is singing "The Wheels on the Bus"

That is another aspect of all of the sensory processing problems. He puts EVERYTHING in his mouth now. He is constantly looking for something to chew on. (Seeking sensory input) It's not a bad thing... it's actually good. It just becomes a problem sometimes due to choking hazards, something I never have had to worry about. It is a need for him though.... telling him not to do it is not the solution. It is much more complex than that.

We are in the process of ordering some chewies for him.... they are specially designed for kids who have this type of need. The goal is to encourage him to chew on those or specific items that are "Okay" for him to chew instead of the couch pillows, rocks, combs, anything he can get his hands on....

That is all for now.... it's late. And we have to be up in the morning! Sleep well everyone!

Changes.... "Caelan" (Part 2)

So.... I was given the name of a place called Children's Therapy Corner by someone and I gave them a call. I knew the moment I talked to Becky on the phone that this was a good thing. She was sooo supportive- she understood all my anxiety. So I set up a consultation appointment with them. Caelan and I met Julie who is the Speech and Language Therapist there and also heads up something called Play Project. Caelan interacted really well with her. So we set up appointments for evaluations at Children's Corner.

Their facility is a medical setting. The only down side of that is that we had to have a prescription from the pediatrician to move forward with evals and therapy sessions. Well that took a lot longer than anticipated.... long, irrelevant story. Anyway.. it took a little bit of time and we didn't get started with things until early August.

So they did speech and OT evaluations. Some of it was the same as the school as far as testing "tools." Matt and I went back for follow up and discussed the reports with the therapists. It was still difficult to hear them say that our son is as behind as he is. To hear reference to him being in an 18-24 month range in certain areas. Wow.

I have spent a lot of time over the past 5 or 6 months blaming myself. from the very get go of this whole process, all I could think was, "How did I miss this? How did I not see these problems?" or "What did I do wrong as a parent?" I have spent a significant amount of my life working with kids. I have taught, I have run after school programs, I have volunteered in children's hospitals and churches, I spent a summer working with special needs kids... I say all of that simply because, I have spent a LOT of time around a LOT of kids. One would think that I would recognize delays in development in my own kid. One would think. But I digress.... and I refuse to let myself get pulled into that lie. I know Satan likes to play on our emotions. Well, dear evil one... my son is not an area for you to play with.

Back on topic!! One of the best things about going to Children's Corner is that I understand things now on a whole different level. I get it.

Caelan has a sensory processing problem. That's kinda the very basic explanation. But it affects everything. His speech problems are more related to "motor planning" than anything. There are some mixed signals in his brain in the processing of language, sequencing, planning processes. the sensory aspect of everything has been AMAZING to learn about.

Kristine is my new hero. She is the occupational therapist. She likes to explain that we don't have 5 senses... we have 7. Yes, 7. You ever wonder why they teach us incorrectly in school? I mean, I remember finding out that Christopher Columbus didn't actually discover America and thinking, "Then why teach us that as kids?" And now to find out that we don't have just 5 senses, we have 7! Cool! Ok so it's not that simple. Well, we all know the basic 5 of sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. There is also vestibular and proprioception. Our balance and our sense of position.

Kids who have a sensory processing problem are usually either hypo or hyper in each area; under-sensitive or oversensitive. They respond in an abnormal way to basic stimuli. And because their senses don't respond normally to all that is around them, they behave differently. There is defensiveness in the system. Caelan is hypersensitive. He likes firm pressure and touch (hugs!) and he is very disturbed by some lighter touches. He "seeks" movement (swaying, jumping in his bed) but he doesn't like swings and slides or for his feet to leave the floor (remember the poor sense of position??) It also explains why is doesn't like pools. Like I said, I suddenly "get" all of this. There are things that he avoids because his sense of things is sooo way off and the body creates a defense mechanism. It's not that he just doesn't like swings and slides or water, his body screams to him that it is dangerous; it literally terrifies him. That is actually a very heartbreaking thing for me. To know that the basics in a kid's life are actually fearful for him. I just want him to be able to enjoy things in life. What therapy does is help the brain remap itself, to rework the pathways into a new understanding of things and therefore able to function differently.

All of this affects.... eating, sleeping (not for Caelan thank God!), interpretation of people/communication, play and physical activity, speech and language, daily functions, you name it.

All of that being said, we have been going to therapy sessions 3 times a week and already see huge changes in Caelan. (Makes me wonder how far along he would be if we could have started 3 months earlier.) There are steps backwards as well because there are changes, but overall it is good. Guess who went down the slides at the park the other day... yep! Our boy! I will definitely post some pictures and videos of that type of progress. He has also recently started singing songs.... another really big thing. Like I told Julie one day at speech, they're little things but they are such HUGE things.

Anyway... this post has already gotten extremely long. There is still so much more to explain about all of this. And because I am finally sharing all of this, I am just letting it all come tumbling out of my brain. It has been a roller coaster for the past several months. I see how Caelan has changed over the past 9 months or so... things that he used to enjoy but doesn't anymore, things that he is more sensitive to.... how some days are great and some days he is all out of sorts.

I am sure I will have many more ramblings on this subject. And all that comes with it. But for now, I think I have tossed an awful lot on your plates to start soaking in.

I will provide links to websites as well.

Changes.... "Caelan" (Part one... I had to break it down)

"Hmm.. what's going on?" you've wondered. Well, it depends on who you ask honestly. If you ask the school system they will tell you Caelan is in the Autistic Spectrum. And yes, I just threw the "A" word out there way too casually.... sorry for the shock factor. If you ask in a medical setting they describe Caelan as having sensory processing delays or problems. He is behind in speech and language, as well as some large and small motor areas.

I personally like the latter of the two explanations.

I'm going to jump around a bit. The current status is this-

Caelan is enrolled in the Early Childhood Program through the school system. He will get some Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy there along with contact with an Autistic counselor.
We also have him involved at Children's Therapy Corner (LOVE these people) where he gets more intense, one on one Speech and Occupational Therapy. That is the short version of it.

So going backwards in time now... I will explain the full story of how we got here.

Back in the Spring, probably around March... Matt and I started noticing Caelan is behind in his speech. We noticed this as we Skyped with my sisters one night and how well their boys (who are 5 months younger than Caelan) spoke and communicated. We looked at each other with the same look of "hmm.. are you noticing that difference too?" But we didn't talk too much about it. About the same time, a 'newer' friend of mine whom I had only known for a few months, asked me if Caelan talks at all or if he is nonverbal. I was shocked! She had to be kidding me! He talks from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed. Literally. So I asked our sitter if Caelan talks over there.... they replied, "No, not really. His needs are met; he will mimic what we say but...." Once again, shock factor for me!

He has always talked around us AND Matt's parents. We understand him. Mostly because we are around him all the time and understand his speech patterns and there is usually context to help. He hit a "shy" phase in January or so as well. He became much more timid in large settings, around people, new things.

So based on these discoveries about his speech and all, I decided to talk to his pediatrician.... she sent us for a speech eval. It honestly didn't go real well, Caelan wasn't very cooperative in the environment. I set up appointments... then found out that insurance woudn't cover it until he is 6 years old.... yes, SIX! I yelled at the poor girl in the insurance company who didn't have any control over that info... she was just the messenger. And I shot her. In spite of the old saying of not doing so.

So I cancelled all the appointments and sat in frustration about what steps to take. Abbi mentioned checking through the school system and the "Early On" program. So I set all that up. Someone came to the house, got a lot of history on Caelan, played with him.... a couple of weeks later the Speech and Occupational Therapists through the school also came over and interacted a bit. So we set up an appointment at their facility for a full evaluation. When I walked in, there were four people there (ST, OT and two new ones) and all of a sudden they are talking about Autism. I was there with Caelan.... after working a midnight shift, no sleep. I suddenly felt like I was in a tunnel. Their lips moved. I couldn't hear them. I was still stuck in another moment of time. Stuck in the word, THAT word. Once I found my breath (which I needed to do because I was feeling a little dizzy from the last sharp intake of air that I took and hadn't released yet), I stopped them mid-sentance. "How did we go from speech evaluations to talking about Autism??" I could tell from the glances around the room, that someone forgot to discuss everything with me. Each of them thought the other had already filled me in. They recovered well. Tina (I like her a lot.... she is the Speech therapist) knew how to get me back into the present time.

Once I got past this point, we were there for about three hours. They did a lot of standardized testing. Then we talked. In hindsight I understand some things a lot more than I did in the moment. One of those things is that the school system works in more of a "check box" system. "Does this child qualify for special assistance? Yes or No?" (check mark Yes). "If yes, what are the qualifiers?" Well, how about the fact that he failed (for a lack of better word) all the testing. The Speech and Occupational evals, the ADOS (Autistic Diagnostic Observation something or other) was off the chart.... Next on the checklist, "Which category? Autistic Spectrum or Developmentally Delayed?" Boy I love those options. Caelan was slotted into Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

People who know our son... who know our son, who have been around him since the day he was born... immediately shake their heads and say, "What?!? He is not autistic!!"
As the protective mother bear.... I agree. How dare they! As an open-minded, do what is best for my child, mom.... I read the reports and took a harsh look at things.

And I still wasn't sure.

He is a very, very loving child who loves to hug and snuggle. He makes eye contact. He talks (to us at least). He is really smart. He was an easy baby and is a very laid back little boy. He is happy.

He also... doesn't respond to his name all the time. He doesn't respond normally to sounds around him. He is fascinated with numbers and letters and shapes. He doesn't like slides or swings. He jumps... a lot. He sways from foot to foot. He doesn't call out to us in the same way that other kids do with their parents. He likes to watch things spin. He doesn't know what to do with toys other than "its intended purpose" He has an unusually long attention span for a child his age. He....
.. is my baby. My sweet, precious child. Who is smart and likes numbers and letters and books.... so? He likes to jump... so?

I was so torn. I couldn't deny a lot of what was pointed out to me. I spent a summer in 1998 with autistic kids. I see some of these "red flags." But I also don't see some of it.

So the agreement was to start him in Special Ed, Early Childhood Program this Fall. Which I did. It goes against everything I wanted to do, everything I believed in. But I did it.
But the problem was.... this all took place in early June. All of this was dumped in my lap with a nice big bow and a "Have a great summer, we will see you in September!"
WHAT???!!?? What am I supposed to DO?? What about NOW? What about the next four MONTHS??

So... enter next post.... Children's Therapy Corner. (Did I mention that I love these people??? good.)

I have to get ready for Caelan to come home.... I will complete this whole story. I told you it was long...

Changes- Part 1

This will be part one of a few posts about Changes. I know I said that I was going to blog again starting "Here and Now"..... but to understand here and now, there needs to be some explanations about the past several months.
I am not going to go into details right now because I need to get off the computer and get some things done. But there have been a LOT of changes. A lot of it is connected in one way or another. The basic rundown is

1. Barbara (Caelan's birth mom) and her parents
2. David (Caelan's birth dad) and his mom Anna
3. Caelan has special needs
4. I am quitting my job

A (very) few people know everything about everything. Some people know a little about some of it. Some people didn't know anything at all about any of these things until this moment. I will fill in details of it all very soon. Sorry to throw it all out there and then leave..... enjoy the rest of the posts!!! (Which is why I have to get off the computer now is because I have spent a lot of time uploading stuff.... FUN!!)
Hugs and Love to everyone!

Getting Ready

One day during the first week of school, I was there the same time as the School Bus and we decided to see what he thought about it and lifted him inside. No go. He got really upset, said "No, no, no. You want to ride Ma's car." So that is one of the (many) reasons I was a bit anxious about it. Jack had said that he would come by the house on Monday to pick up Caelan and if it didn't work out, we would keep trying. And Mrs Ross sent home a little book about riding the bus. So we talked about how much fun- how exciting!- it will be to ride the bus to school! Yay! So here we are, Caelan is combing his hair while I was putting his shoes on and waiting for the bus to come.

A Painting

The first week of school (which was only 3 days) they talked a lot about School Buses.... one day they glued windows on a bus, they sang about the bus, read books, etc. Well, one day they also painted a School Bus. Here is Caelan's first school artwork! I hung it on the wall next to his room for now. I will put it in a notebook along with everything else soon.

The School Bus

If you zoom in on the picture above (just click on it, then click again)- you can see him sitting behind Jack, the bus driver peeking out the door at me. He was SOOO excited!! He was chattering away... I caught the words "Ma" and "Bus"

My sweet little boy- climbing off the BIG School Bus! He is so small on it- he can hardly see out the window when he is in his seat!

Walking up the driveway- carrying his backpack. And the mail... he likes checking the mailbox. And insists on carrying in some of it.

and no I was not this excited and relaxed about the bus.... I had to work up to it. AND I seriously had an anxiety attack after he got on it the first time to go to school. Jack (his driver) is GREAT and very supportive. After the first day riding, and knowing he likes it so much... I am ok with it now. (sort of... ha-ha!) He is only on it a short while going to school but a LONG time coming home... about 45 minutes because he is the last drop off.

First Day of School

September 6, 2011

First Day of "School"

He looked soooo cute!! And was excited to talk about going to school... I wasn't sure what he would think once he actually got there and especially after I left him there. But he did great! He has had so much fun and loves going! He talks about his teacher Mrs. Ross all the time. And it is really cute because he says "School House" not just school.... I think he must have gotten that from his Richard Scary's Great Big Schoolhouse Book. One of my favorites as a kid- he loves it too.

The Missing Child

Hmmm..... where could that Caelan boy be?? I don't see him anywhere! Why is the shower curtain all lumpy like that on top of the changing table? Oh! It's our silly boy!

(PS.... sorry for the rough ending!)

My Little Baseball Player!

I've always been a baseball fan.... not like a huge hard-core fan who keeps up with all the games and teams... I just enjoy the sport itself, going to games, playing softball.... so when Caelan pointed out a "bay-ball bat and bay-ball" in the store one day, I was excited. I had an old t-stand in the garage and finally set it up one day a few weeks ago in the back yard. He had a blast and did great!!

Bruce

BRUCE

aka: Brucie, Bwuce

**before I start this.... NO, there is nothing wrong with Bruce and nothing has happened to him!

We have three cats. Ries.... rescued at the age of 4 weeks and bottle fed, named after our old Fire Lieutenant and friend Jon Ries. She is 9 1/2 years old now. (wow... haven't thought about how old she has gotten until right this second). Super smart and the only girl. Bruce was our first boy and we adopted him about 6 months after we got Ries. He was found abandoned in a parking lot, near death, and was nursed back to health by the vet. He already had his name when we got him. Then we got Dillon about 6 months after that and he is our second boy.... he is an orange and white, very thick (and plump) cat who was feral for several months before being rescued by Alley Cat Allies in the DC area. Dillon is extremely shy but seriously the sweetest cat in the world.

So back to Bruce.... when I first saw him, I immediately loved him. His hair was sticking out in every direction.... and he was not very graceful- he bonked his head while he was running around the room. I can relate to this cat!! So home with me he went!

We have always referred to Bruce as being... "Not as smart or graceful as Ries" because we didn't want to hurt his feelings by simply calling him a klutz or saying he is dumb. He tries really hard to be a brave kitty, too. He also has a jealous streak.... particularly when it comes to where I give my attention. He thinks that I am HIS mommy and his mommy ONLY. If he sees me petting one of the other cats or giving them attention, he will wait til I'm not looking and then bite the daylights out of the other cat. Hmmm... maybe not so dumb after all, huh? On that note, he can also be a bit of a bully.... he will push the other two around a bit. He wears a bell on his collar... he thinks it is because he is super special and "gets to wear" a bell. In reality, the bell is there so the other cats can hear him coming. Yep.

Bruce is also absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Turns out, this tossed-into-a-parking-lot-near-a-dumpster cat is part Maine Coon. Purebred Maine Coons carry a pretty hefty price. We paid fifty bucks in adoption fees. They are often referred to as the "Gentle Giants" of cats because they are so big yet have such a sweet and gentle nature. There could not be truer words about Bruce....

When Caelan came along, I was worried about the cats' reactions. I figured Ries would be the "caretaker" of the three.... that she would express concern over this baby. Dillon I knew would simply adjust. Bruce, I was intensely concerned about. I knew about his jealous streak.... what if tried to hurt the baby? I knew about his other issues... what if he stressed out and started peeing all over the house? Ugh.

So we brought Caelan home... I was so far off in my assessment. I was sitting in the recliner holding Caelan. Brucie jumped up onto the arm of the chair and leaned over to check out what I was holding. Bruce sniffed Caelan's head, every inch of it. Then he very slowly, very gently, reached his paw over and placed it so gently on Caelan's head. The look on Bruce's face was so sweet. And he has made every single step with Caelan since then. He showed protectiveness over Caelan from day one- when Caelan was a baby and would cry, Bruce would be sitting there meowing at me and I would literally be tripping over him as "we" had to go check on the baby.

Caelan LOVES Bruce. They have the sweetest relationship. He plays peekaboo and hide-and-seek with him, Caelan pulls Bruce into his cardboard house with him, wants to show him things and share with him, and likes to brush him. And being a little kid.... Caelan pulls poor Brucie's tail, drags him around, lays on top of him (bear in mind Caelan now weighs 40 pounds) and uses Bruce's fur as "handles" to "help" Bruce go where Caelan wants him to go. And Bruce STILL makes every step with Caelan.

Bruce has never once nipped at Caelan or shown the slightest twitch toward scratching or harming Caelan in any way. He has wimpered a time or two as Caelan lays on him or tugs a bit much, but never a move more than that. Bruce has the option of staying away from Caelan. There are plenty of places in the house that he can go to get away. But he doesn't. He chooses to stay right alongside Caelan.

Caelan refers to Bruce by his name, "Bwuce"..... he refers to Ries and Dillon as "cats." If Caelan has a book or sees pictures of random cats, he refers to them all as cats.... unless there is one that looks like Bruce, then he gets excited and says "There's Bwuce!" Caelan always says Goodnight to Bruce. ("goodnight bwuce") before going into his room each night. He greets him in the morning as well. I love to watch these two together. And I cannot wait to see how they grow closer over time. There is nothing like the love of a pet. Especially one like Brucie.

Below are just a handful of pictures of these two.... as I looked over a couple of years worth of snapshots, I realized that if Caelan is not interacting directly with Bruce, Bruce is still somewhere very near his precious boy Caelan. And because of that.... Bruce earned his very own, very lengthy post.

Christmas 2009, Bruce with Caelan as he checks out what Santa brought

Caelan and Brucie sharing a balloon... they both love balloons!

Caelan snuggling with Bruce

...... more loving on Bruce

and since we are always telling Caelan to "stop laying on top of Bruce" Caelan has started pulling Bruce on top of him instead.... and of course, Bruce just goes with the flow!

Thank you Bruce for being so awesome to our boy...
and thank you God for blessing us with this amazing, throw-away cat. We pray for many more years with him!!

Here and Now

Hello Blog Readers!
I miss blogging.... I really do! I had been so far behind and I felt like I had to "update" things before I started trying to keep current. Which is why there were pictures posted and titled from months before.... and trying to sort through a year's worth of pictures and try to "update" things was just overwhelming. And then more and more time kept passing... it became an endless cycle.

Sooooo...... I decided that instead of falling more and more behind- which I finally realized is also robbing people of the present..... that I will start again, Here and Now. Where we are in life today. And if I go back in time occasionally that's fine.

I have access to all of our photos again (I didn't for about the past six months) and will start making a concerted effort to blog more regularly. It may not always be about Caelan and it may not always have pictures with it... but I will post.

For my mom. For my sisters. For ALL of my family. For Caelan's birthfamily. For our friends. For random strangers who stumble upon us. For me.

In the meantime, here are links to two Face Book photo albums that I just uploaded the past couple of days.... hopefully it will work!

Caelan's 3rd Birthday http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2126382312649.2109927.1038643382&l=aca4fcf0d4&type=1


Greenwood, MS with my sisters and the boys http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2125263684684.2109882.1038643382&l=be9bd2b719&type=1

Sleder's in TC to see Brent Burns: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2119361737139.2109652.1038643382&l=aea23395b7&type=1


And since I have figured out how to do this!! I will add some more older ones!

Random pics of Caelan http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1514875065350.2070745.1038643382&l=bc19fa85cb&type=1

LAST year's Pumpkin Patch visit: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1514796903396.2070739.1038643382&l=c29b32eda6&type=1

LAST year's Corn Maize visit with the Ansorges: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1514826344132.2070742.1038643382&l=81268fc33e&type=1

And finally.... LAST Halloween.... http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1529906681131.2071840.1038643382&l=85551799c6&type=1

And actually... that's about all I even have on Facebook...
sooo... Here we are, NOW!!!